Winning the Battle of “I’m Nots”

Recently I woke up with a deep heaviness feeling somewhat defeated and sorry for myself. Before I could open my eyes I began rehearsing “I’m Nots.” I’m not good enough, smart enough, talented enough, pretty enough, capable enough and so on. 

Have you ever been there? 

I immediately knew those thoughts were lies coming straight from the pit of hell…How did I know this? Because any internal voice speaking to you in a condemning tone or misconstrues your identity is a sure telltale sign the enemy of your soul is out to steal, kill and destroy your peace and joy. 

Anytime the Lord speaks to you, you will feel strengthened, encouraged, and loved. I felt no such thing in this moment. It was clear. This was not from God. 

If you grew up in a family where you felt like the weakest link…welcome to my world. I had an amazing sister who has now gone on to heaven. Growing up she was so good at everything she did. She was an outstanding, award winning athlete and student. She was who’s who in academia and had a brilliant mind. She had double the GPA I did, and then some. Learning came easy to her and she loved it. I will always be so proud of all her accomplishments and who she was. 

On the other hand, I was aloof, sociable, scatterbrained, and more interested in the latest fashion trends. Which is funny because then and now, I am still clearly an introvert. 

As I got older this carried over into my current family. I am blessed to have a wonderfully handsome husband who is extremely talented in virtually everything he sets out to do; and who never gains weight, b-t-w (kinda annoying). I gain weight just walking through the bakery aisle at the grocery store. The man seriously never ages either; he’s literally the next Dick Clark. With each year and gray hair he becomes more handsome and distinguished than the next, and each year my root touch up appointments become more frequent. Not to mention my beautiful and talented daughters – don’t get this proud momma started! Even my extended family includes gifted writers, musicians, educators, creatives, entrepreneurs, cooks, you name it…seems like everyone is soo good at everything they set out to do and I’m just “average” at my feeble attempts. (Cue the tiny violins.)

This my friend is not the truth. This is a perceived insecurity. The belief that I’m not good enough because my gifts and talents don’t align with others. When we use a measuring stick that isn’t ours to begin with we start to compare our lack with others plenty, and unfortunately, we will never measure up to that. Comparison coupled with the lies of the enemy are a sure recipe for frustration, discouragement, and defeat. Consider this: maybe God never asked you to do the things He requires of others?

This is the battle I woke up to early that morning.

As I sat down to write in my gratitude journal, the struggle was real because the “I’m Nots” were screaming their ugly little heads off.

I took a deep breath, paused, and then began to write what I knew to be true…even though I didn’t feel like it:

I’m thankful I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God…

I’m thankful when I feel less than, He is more than enough…

I’m thankful God looks at my heart and doesn’t see me as man does…

I’m thankful I am accepted by God…

I’m thankful I am a Beloved daughter of the King…

I’m thankful when I’m feeling low He is the lifter of my head…

I’m thankful God loves me for who I am, ALWAYS, no matter what…

I’m thankful God is for me when others are against me…

I’m thankful God is greater than my insecurities…

I’m thankful where I see lack, He sees my value and calls me worthy….

I’m thankful He tells me I can do all things through Christ, when I feel inadequate…AND

I am grateful God has good plans for me, to give me Hope and a Future … (Jeremiah 29:11)

I believe God is not only saying this to me…but He’s saying it to you too. 

Friend, God LOVES YOU! He wants to strengthen Your heart, encourage Your soul and fill Your heart to overflow with His unconditional love, grace and peace. Will you let Him?

Whenever you hear a voice telling you “I’m Not…(you fill in the blank)__________” remember who you are and be assured today there is a God in Heaven who is fighting for you… The Good new is He has already won!

Growth Opportunity: Write a list of “I ams” in Christ today. This is a sure way to Win the Battle of “I’m Nots.”